I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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