did you get engaged???
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
