the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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