I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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