Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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