ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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