I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
