I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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