I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Pants are for mortals
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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