Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i think i just lost a toe
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
