I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
