i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
