i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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