Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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