Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
