Pappa wants mamma naked
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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