I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
