I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
