You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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