If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
