Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I'm really busy with my period
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