Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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