Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
