What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
