dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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