just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
