Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
