Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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