She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
