do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
