let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
