The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
