dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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