i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
