I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
