This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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