it wasn't lemon gatorade
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
