He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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