he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize