Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
