Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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