How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
