i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
