im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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