you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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