see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
