I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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