They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
