Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
