We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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