guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
