Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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