So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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