It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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