yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
