I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
