This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My feet surprised me
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