I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
