Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
