My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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