what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
