I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
