I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
